Couple’s Therapy: Here’s What You Need to Know Before Knocking on That Door
Couple’s therapy, or famously known as the ‘last resort’, is where couples turn to when communication lines seem to be broken beyond internal repair. So much so that an external party has to be involved in mending the bridges.
Couples counseling can be explosive. There’s a mixture of emotions, and at times, sessions might even have the proverbial slurs being hurled from both sides. A session sans tears and anger is like a cup of coffee without…um…coffee.
That’s not to say that there aren’t some calm sessions where partners work together to unearth the root cause of the problem.
As a matter of fact, some therapists occasionally have a field day with partners who are genuinely interested in making their relationship work from the get-go.
Are you planning to attend couple’s therapy? It might sound a little scary at first, considering couple’s therapy is greatly linked to failed relationships. However, this misconception is probably spawned from binge-watching too many Hollywood romance movies. You know, there’s always that generic couple that needs a counseling session after one partner was caught ‘dipping his fingers in the cookie jar.’
In reality, attending couple’s therapy can be beneficial to a relationship in the long-run. The beauty of it is that it helps individuals rediscover why they fell in love with each other in the first place.
On the other hand, it might make the two of you realize that you were never meant for each other, and that it’s high time this toxic relationship came to an end. You can call it a double-edged sword if you like!
That being said, if you’re planning to attend couple’s therapy, some women share their intriguing stories on their first and subsequent visits to couple’s counseling.
A Third Party Was Essential for Our Communication
Marie H. was just about to get married when she and her fiancé decided to knock on the door of a well-known therapist in town. Reason being? The couple felt that they needed to discuss their future before citing their matrimonial vows. Interestingly, they recently went again after a couple of years of marriage for what Marie calls a ‘tune-up.’
The first time around, the couple went for about six premarital sessions. In retrospect, Marie believes that it was the right decision because the two of them managed to unearth a lot of issues that they had initialed thought were exhausted. They first met the therapist separately before the two of them were bundled together in what she describes, ‘constructive sessions.’
The couple worked on a myriad of communication-building activities, including handling workbooks, answering questions that highlighted individual goals, priorities, and values in the relationship.
The couple also discussed issues that bothered the both of them.
In the recent ‘tune-up’, Marie says that the urge to revisit the therapist was inspired by a disagreement regarding where they were to relocate to. Hence, the couple felt that they needed a third party’s input to communicate effectively.
That’s because, despite the fact that they had disagreements, Marie and her husband never shouted at one another. Though a positive, it certainly hindered communication in certain circumstances.
Therapy Helps a Couple Reflect on the Truth About Their Relationship
Kathleen, 39, had spent nearly a decade with her partner Dan. However, the advent of time had resulted in an indifference in their once harmonious relationship, leaving a sense of unfamiliarity between them.
After visiting two therapists whom they felt were biased, the third time was a charm. They came across a therapist who guided them in the conversation, helping them figure out the cracks that had resulted in their relationship.
Unfortunately, it was during these sessions that they realized that perhaps going their separate ways was the right decision to take.
Despite finding it hard to acknowledge this truth, the writing was on the wall. Their relationship had gone from a fiery red to a depressing ember.
Therapy Helps Point out the Destructive Behaviors in the Relationship
Most therapies love to play the nice card. Perhaps it’s the fact that you’re paying $200 an hour that they do this. However, when you find that diamond in the ruff, the therapist that is able to point out your discrepancies without batting an eye, keep em!
That is exactly what Sadie L., 37, and her husband found out when they visited their fourth therapist. From his point of view, they were able to see exactly how he perceived them and instances where one individual was being a bully to the other.
Conclusively, couple’s counseling all boils down to perception. Whatever you perceive of it (whether it will mend the relationship or be another dead end), is probably the end result that will manifest.
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