Experts Reveal the Right and Gentle Way to Call it Quits

No matter how magical the feeling of falling in love and being in a relationship with your significant other is, most couples dread breakups. It’s one of the worst feelings you’ll feel aside from getting dumped.

But when both of you are suffering and are unhappy, it might be best to end the relationship rather than prolonging your agony. While it’s not easy to break up with someone, you can help ease the pain and make it better by applying these tips, according to relationship experts.

Tell the Truth in a Tactful Way

According to the relationship expert Rachel Sussman, you owe your partner an explanation or a reason on why you’re breaking up. It’s important to get to the main point and make them understand why this challenge or situation is hindering your relationship from going further. As much as possible, your reason shouldn’t shock your partner, because Sussman emphasized your reason should’ve been discussed in the past and you tried working through it together.

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According to Sussman, most breakups get painful and difficult because they don’t understand the reason for calling it quits. They’ve been left hanging and wondering what had gone wrong.

However, Guy Winch warns you shouldn’t unload all your pent-up frustrations and complaints on your partner as it can backfire and will only end up in a painful conversation. As much as possible, be civil in laying out the reasons of the breakup according to him.

Never tell the other party with platitudes like how you can still be friends in the future to ease the pain. At least, do not plan on saying that if you don’t mean it. According to Winch, it’ll only be like pouring more salt on the wounds since you’re giving your partner some form of hope there’s still a chance for you to get back together.

Do It Personally.

Both Sussman and Winch agreed that if you plan to break up with your partner, you must do it personally and face to face. Do not do it over the phone, text, or email. You should be considerate and mature enough to end your relationship the way you started it. As for the venue, it’s preferable to do it on your partner’s home. In this way, they’ll still be in the comfort of their familiar place when you break the news to them.

Likewise, you can also leave if the situation gets too drawn out. However, Winch says there are few exceptions to this rule. For example, if you feel like you’re in danger because your partner is abusive and possessive, then it’s best to keep your distance or do the breakup in a public place.

If not, you should have at least someone with you as a witness so that your partner won’t attempt to harm you. You can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline if you need any support or you need to be rescued from your violent partner.

Let Them Decide If They Want to Remain In contact

It may seem like a kind gesture tells your ex how you can still be friends after a breakup, or you can check in how they’re doing a few weeks after but both Winch and Sussman recommend you resist the impulse. According to them, it’ll only make the whole breakup painful if the other partner constantly feels your presence. It’s best to leave them be, give them space to think things through and let them heal.

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According to the relationship experts, if both partners decide to retain contact, both should’ve been healed and moved on from the breakup already.

Leave the decision to the partner who got dumped on whether or not to reestablish your contact. According to Sussman, three-six months after the breakup are the ideal time to determine whether or not it’s still safe to reestablish contact.

If you’re the one who called it quits, you should be prepared for the possibility of not getting in touch with your ex and severing even the friendship you had before you had a relationship together.