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Why Do Our Kids Lie To Us?

[su_quote class=”cust-pagination”] “Honesty is the best policy” — Benjamin Franklin [/su_quote]

Without a doubt, honesty is one of the golden teachings that has been passed from generation to generation. Honesty is also one of the virtues that everyone should have in order to establish reliability and trust. If you lack honesty and keep lying, the chances are that you will lose the trust that people have in you. As such, it is necessary to instill this trait in your kids.

However, there are times when we can’t help but wonder why our kids lie to us. What makes them lie? Before you go scolding or spanking your kids for lying, we suggest you take a moment and try to understand the reason behind it. This will help you to understand them better and motivate them to speak up and establish effective communication with them.

Kids Lie Because They’re Afraid of Disappointing Us


Kids lie because they don’t want us to feel disappointed in them. This could be after a poor academic performance or something similar.The sad reality is that most kids already feel the burden of the expectations we have set for them. They are afraid that we will get disappointed with them and look at them with sadness in our eyes, so they prefer to lie. 

When you discover the truth, take some moment to cool down before confronting your child. The end might not justify their means to lie, but remember that their intention is clear. They did it because they’re afraid of hurting your feelings. Remember that they are also bearing the burden and guilt for lying. You lashing out at them would only hurt them more. Instead of chastising your child, take some time to have some heart-to-heart talk with them in a calming way.

Gently explain to them that you have discovered the truth and that you’re not angry with them. Explain to them that you’re upset that lied. Afterward, try to ask them why they lied and be open-minded when asking for their explanation.

Don’t interrupt or hurry theion. Remember that admitting their mistake is a nerve-wracking experience to them, so you should be patient with them. After explaining their part, explain to them why it is wrong to lie, and that they should never do it again. Let them know that you would rather hear the truth, no matter how painful it is than a lie.

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Kids Lie to Protect Someone Else

Kids are more social in nature compared to grownups.This is because they’re still so innocent that all they want to do play and interact with other kids. If someone did something wrong, the other kids usually would cover up for them to protect their friend from being punished. 

 Kids Lie To Avoid  Punishment

Irina Kozorog/Shutterstock

Most of the time, kids tell lies because they don’t want to deal with punishment. The most common type of punishment that parents give to their kids is grounding them—no smartphones for a week, cutting their allowance by half, etc.

Kids dread punishment. As such, they would do anything—including telling lies— to avoid it. If this happens, you should give them some sort of a warning or leeway the first time. Warn them that it shouldn’t happen again, or else you will have to punish them. Also, explain to them how they can avoid making the same mistake in the future.


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