Having A Baby – When Your Partner Doesn’t Agree

A person’s wish to either have or not have children cannot be interpreted as a legal decision. When making this crucial decision, the only factors that matter are your expectations when it comes to having children. These factors also include your own childhood.

When a spouse expresses or indicates that they do not wish to have children, it is essential to discuss their reasons so that both of you understand each other’s position.

Factors that force the issue

Lucy Kippist/ Babylogy | Deciding to have another baby is always significant, but when you and your partner disagree, it can fall into the category of a dilemma

Often, the biological imperative drives decision-making since women must choose to become pregnant before time runs out. Later in their thirties, while reassessing the subject of children, women may worry if they have time to find a new partner, fall in love, and then attempt to conceive. This can also influence whether or not they are ready to accept their current relationship, even if it’s childless.

Although males are not on the same schedule as women, they frequently fear becoming an “old parent” and want to make decisions before it is too late.

It is advantageous to have children around the same age as their classmates during the early childhood stage so that they can provide support and form bonds. So, if friends are moving forward with starting a family, this might also push the couple who have been delaying the choice.

In a world where having children is prevalent, not desiring kids might put you on the defensive, requiring you to justify your decision repeatedly. And other life phases will bring forth new obstacles.

PeopleImages/ Getty Images | The current birth rate is, in fact, 12.4 births per 1,000 people, declining year on year since the 1950s

For instance, you may lose friends to your own families, have fewer people to socialize with, and worry that the next generation will not assist you in old age. In a culture designed towards reproduction, you will need to traverse these obstacles, which will be much simpler if you are unified in your decision.

Finding the underlying problem

Here are some potential reasons one partner doesn’t want a baby when the other does.

Financial strain

This common problem can typically be resolved once the pair has explored potential obstacles in greater depth. If approaching that talk appears daunting, it is okay to seek a therapist’s assistance. This may entail addressing the expense of weekday child care, family assistance, and even needs like diapers and formula.

Wrong relationship

You are likely in an unfair scenario when you hit an impasse in a relationship or marriage because your spouse doesn’t want children and refuses to consider concessions on the problem or future possibilities.

Deborah Gaines/ GETTY IMAGES | Communication is the key to every successful relationship

Communication is crucial, and there must always be opportunities for compromise, if not sacrifice. When things are not even up for debate, that person does not want to be a parent or a spouse.

Repeating unhealthy family patterns

These anxieties may appear believable to persons abused by their parents, even though this is often not the case. Despite the fact that the person facing the issue may need to handle it alone, couples often benefit from therapy as a unit. Thus, both parties are aware of the problems and special sensitivities that may result from an imperfect upbringing.