Show Me the Money: Couples’ Turmoil Over Hidden Finances
One of the most important things that couples value in their relationship is trust. No one enjoys having secrets in a relationship. The only thing it does is create an uncomfortable situation where you are always skeptical of each other’s words and actions. And of the factors that create this type of environment is money.
A survey by CreditCards.com found that 44% of people in a relationship have admitted to keeping secret finances from their partner. They either have hidden bank accounts, credit cards, or loans.
What the study also pointed out is that it is perfectly fine to have separate accounts, but it is when these accounts are kept secret that causes the problem. According to the survey, respondents had different reasons for their secret finances, with 36% saying they needed privacy, 27% saying that the matter was never discussed, and 26% reasoning that they feel embarrassed because they believe that they have poor skills in handling finances.
With many believing that financial issues are very serious and would consider this as a reason to end a relationship, there needs to be a common ground and a clear understanding of each other. Knowing where you both stand as you move forward with your lives is very important. It helps to discuss plans, what you want to do and where you want to go. Just being on the same page and setting expectations can be very helpful in avoiding conflict.
Relationships only work when there is honesty. It is supposed to be a space to be open with someone and to have them open up to you. So the more secrets you keep from each other, no matter how little or irrelevant you think that may be, it will ultimately lead to more trouble in the future. Do not make it a habit to conceal things that you might not be comfortable with, but choose to discuss it and find ways to handle difficult obstacles together.
Wanting to have your parameters when you’re in a committed relationship is not a bad thing. But it shouldn’t reach a point wherein you feel like you have to hide, especially when it’s something as delicate as money matters.
Being more open with what is going on with each other’s lives also helps build the relationship, and knowing that it’s being there for each other even in difficult times that matters. No amount of money will ever be worth jeopardizing your relationship.
Money comes and goes, but the best people are hard to come by, and you don’t want to wake up one day and realize that you just let go of something special because of your uncertainties. Trust in the relationship, if it is real, it will last. It will be worth every penny lost and gained.
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