Tips to Stay Fair When Fighting Your Partner

Okay, answer this one honestly! How many times have you fought with your partner? Well, obviously not just the boxing and punching sort-of fight, we mean the verbal barrages. At least once in your life, right?

Many people say that where there’s understanding, there’s no room for arguments. Dear folks, that’s not true! When two human beings share their lives, they ultimately start understanding each other, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have their occasional disagreements, even arguments.

Unsplash | Fights, and disagreements are part of a healthy relationship, but they should they happen on a fair note

Before you think we’re going to lecture you, trust us, we know where you’re coming from. In fact, we firmly believe fights are part of a healthy relationship, provided they happen on a fair note. You can’t go all bonkers while arguing with your partner. You’ve got to stay equitable.

So today, we’ve resolved to help you master the skill of fighting fair. Get ready to take some notes!

Don’t forget to take a deep breath

Before venting out at your partner, it’s best to stop and take a deep breath. Practicing diaphragmatic breathing can calm down your mind and body, avoiding major mishaps (*wink*). It’ll force you to rethink your goal and work holistically.

Try scheduling your disputes

Emily Jamea, Ph.D., recommends that couples set aside time to discuss issues. She says that you should inform your partner beforehand that you want to discuss some issues or topics. By notifying them, you create a debatable environment that’s way better than a sudden attack. Moreover, it pushes your partner to think about the problems too.

Unsplash | Instead of a sudden attack, give your partner a heads-up that you want to discuss a few things

Never go beyond the issue

When arguing, it’s easy to get carried away and club together every little issue you’ve experienced since you started dating. However, when your partner hears all of them in one go, he/she might feel confused. Sometimes they might even lose interest in the discussion and walk away, making you feel more hurt. Therefore, it’s better to stick to the present issue and opt for a healthy conversation.

Never fight to win

Many times, fights turn into a contest of who’s right and who’s wrong. Dr. Jamea asks couples to remind themselves that they’re on the same team. She explains that a relationship is neither a dictatorship nor a democracy. It’s a bond where you share love and pain, happiness, and sadness. Real winning is when you work together.

Be attentive

When your partner is pouring their heart out, try to be attentive. Hear their point of view patiently before defending yourself. Listening is a great skill and helps a lot in maintaining fairness during fights.

Follow an aftercare routine

Fighting in relationships is normal, but when the fight is over, you must reconcile. After all, you do love each other! And don’t worry about being dramatic; a simple thing like a silent hug, an apology for being loud or harsh, holding hands, or talking to each other can restore the bond.

Unsplash | A simple hug, an apology for being loud or harsh, holding hands, or talking to each other can restore the bond after an argument

Summing it up

Among partners, fighting is the usual drill, just like getting intimate. You can slam doors, break a few vases, and speak certain things, but what matters is that you still stick together. Therefore, instead of avoiding fights, work on solving the problems collectively.