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5 Painful Stages That People Undergo After Losing Their Loved Ones

We all know that death is inevitable, and is one of the constant aspects that exist in this world. Although it is painfully obvious that death is our ultimate destination, the idea of death has been shunned by society. Most of us are in constant denial because of the excruciating pain we feel when we lose someone incredibly close. It hurts to know that we need to move on in life without their presence.

However, no matter how much we may avoid talking about it, it is as inevitable as it is. We just have to prepare to deal with the painful blow when it comes. Here are the stages that people go through when they lose their loved ones. They are not necessarily in order of their occurrence, but people experience them all in one way or another.

“For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.”Khalil Gibran

Stage 1: In Denial

Of course, the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear someone you know is dead is shock and disbelief. Probably, you were with them the day or even hours before.  They were perfectly fine and healthy when you last talked to them, and now they are gone forever. It all seems impossible, doesn’t it? Therefore, it is difficult for the terrible news to sink in, and you are still in the state of denial.

Stage 2: Anger and Frustration

The moment you get through the state of denial, reality stares at you straight in the eyes. This is where you pour all your pent-up emotions. You feel incredibly angry for the and start to question things and the people around you. Why him or her, of all people? Why did he or she have to die? Why did they leave you? Is it really fair? These questions and rants usually came into your mind.

Stage 3: Bargaining

Now that the reality of the situation is with you, you find yourself shifting your perspective from questions to remorse and regret. Instead of asking questions as to why the person died, you begin to blame yourself for their death. You start regretting for not doing your best to spend time with them and for not preventing the death. This is where you start uttering the phrases, “What if” “If only,” and “I wish”. You’re determined to bargain anything just to undo the past in hopes of reversing whatever happened. 

Step 4: Depression

You might say it all sounds crazy to bargain for anything in the point above. However, most people cannot belp but think that way.  Your brain has not yet recovered from the loss. When you finally acknowledge that the one you love is gone and that there is nothing you can do to undo what happened, you move on to the next stage. Since you there is nothing in your power to reverse this painful blow, you start to get depressed. Crying, loss of appetite, feelings of loneliness, and unusual sleeping patterns are all signs of depression.

Stage 5: Acceptance

As they say, time heals all wounds. In this stage, all of your dreadful emotions have calmed down. You can now think clearly and you’ve already accepted that your loved one is gone forever. Although you are still sad, you start to move on in life slowly. You find yourself getting the pieces back together. Remember that it is alright if you take a long time grieving and healing. People take different spans to adjustment. However, at the end of the day, you should be fine once again and positively continue living despite everything that happened.

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