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How to Deal With Your Partner’s Parents If They Don’t Like You


For the past few weeks, the phenomenal Hollywood Movie Crazy Rich Asians made a loud noise in the entertainment industry. Aside from the fact that it’s the first time for a Hollywood movie to feature this many Asian cast members, it also features a group of wealthy people who can afford to pay millions for a pair of earrings without draining their pockets.

However, what made the movie (and the book) appealing to the audience is the story of a girl meeting a random boy, falling in love and going to meet the boy’s rich family.

Because of the status difference the boy and the girl have, the girl faces the challenge of acquainting herself with her boyfriend’s less than receptive family. What will you do if your partner’s parents don’t like you? Here’s what the dating coaches have to say.

The Tension

The renowned psychotherapist Kate Stewart reveals your approach to this less receptive treatment from your partner’s family can create a gap in your relationship, especially if your partner is family-oriented.

If you or your partner is really intent on making your family happy, this clash might put a strain on your relationship. However, if your partner isn’t easily swayed by your parents or family member’s opinions, then Stewart says you can continue your relationship. However, she warns this might change later on.

According to the renowned dating coach Kate Stewart, wooing your partner’s family to like you is quite challenging, since it can affect your relationship one way or another

According to her, excuses like how your family’s opinions don’t matter since you’re not close with them so you and your partner can get away with it, don’t usually work. If anything, the call for a family bond is strong especially if you’re facing important milestones in life like someone having kids or someone falling ill.

This forces you and your partner to bond with your family. And things might get awkward if you and your partner fail to address the issue.

Communication is the Key.

If you and your partner are having issues about this, Stewart suggests couples should have an upfront conversation to have a clear idea of your current situation and determine if your partner has your back.

For example, you can be honest and tell your partner you’re getting some bad vibes from his/her parents and you have no idea if you did something that might have offended them or not. Your partner can then give his insights about it and correct some of your gestures or mannerisms that might’ve offended the family members.

Stewart says communication is vital to resolve familial issues between you and your partner. Your partner must also take the initiative to act as a mediator.

Or if not, your partner can help clarify the issue with their family and ask them what went wrong. If you and your partner are supportive and understanding enough to sort out these issues with your families, then the chances of coming to a mutual understanding and patching up are high. You’ll eventually gain your partner’s family’s trust and acceptance in no time.

On Pleasing Everyone

If the tension persists or gets unbearable, you might be tempted to confront the issue head-on with your partner’s parents, but Stewart recommends you refrain from doing so. Instead, be calm and let your partner handle the issue to avoid more rifts. Stewart also advises you focus on nurturing your relationship with your partner.

Show your partner’s family how your significant other has improved to become a better person. Show them how you’ve also matured and improved since committing this relationship with your partner. This will enable your partner’s family to know you’re a good influence on him or her.

If the family members still don’t like you, remember you cannot force everyone to like you, as you can’t please everyone. Don’t blame them or harbor any ill-feelings about it as a sign of respect to your partner’s family.

Eventually, they’ll realize you don’t have any ill-intentions to your partner and you only want to make peace with them, seeing as they are important to your partner, so they should also be important to you.


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